she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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