I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
