I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
