and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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