marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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