its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
