i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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