Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
