everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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