Yo dont text me then not text me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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