I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
