Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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