i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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