yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
