Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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