i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
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He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
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oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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