So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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