The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
