This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
