Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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