The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize