it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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