Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
