plz talk dirty to me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
