Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
