ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i now understand why vodka
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
