sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I would fuck him just for his dog
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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