Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
