1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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