Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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