My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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