Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
