What did we do last night that was yellow?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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