I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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