I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize