i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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