what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i would one night stand the shit outta him
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
