i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
