Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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