I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
