Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
cat food counts as protein by the way
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize