Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
