True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
