You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
