did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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