There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
