I wanna passion pit in your ass
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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