Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
whose parrot is this?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
