D3 body, D1 cock
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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