I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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