Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
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