i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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