im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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