cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
