all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
