apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
