How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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