Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
