Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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