I'm so fucking centered right now
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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