I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
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he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
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Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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