matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
